Thoughts From The John: Oilers Fans Are The Worst

Thoughts From The John #TFTJ – Listen Oilers fans, I know you’re excited that you were given McJesus and you feel all high and mighty because your team is actually relevant for the first time in almost a decade. But sit down for sec and shut the fuck up, I’m about to tell it like it is.

I have seen Oilers fans all over Social Media all year talking smack, gloating and acting as if their shit doesn’t stink….you guys should be embarrassed. YOUR TEAM IS BUILT UPON FAILURE….AND EVEN MORE FAILURE!

You know what Oilers fans are like? They’re like that douchebag kid in high school who never had a job, did fuck all in class and his parents bought him a BMW for his 17th birthday. Then that same kid totals that BMW and then his parents buy him a Benz. That kid makes fun of other peoples raggedy cars (we all had shitty first cars) and acts as if he earned his luxury vehicle even though mommy and daddy bought it. That guy was a fucking douchebag….and that is all you Oilers fans. (The crash of the BMW and being given the Benz is supposed to symbolize the crash and burn of multiple 1st round picks and rebuild attempts #Symbolism).


Maybe if you showed some class this would be a different story. Like Sens fans. They’ve sucked and they’ve been good, but they don’t make themselves to look like jackasses like Oilers fans despite fighting for a division lead as well.

I know that the concept of winning is new to Oilers fans over the last decade (yeah we know you tore shit up in the 80s, fuck off), but maybe you forgot how to win gracefully… OR maybe Edmonton is just filled with a bunch of douchebags who wear white Oakley sunglasses and drive big pickups to compensate for their smalls dicks (I’m going with the latter hypothesis). You fans are the reason why a lot of NHL fans kind of like to see guys give McDavid a hard time. You are making the best player in the world unlikable because he dons an Oilers jersey. Lets not forget you were literally hand served this opportunity, you didn’t earn a thing. Don’t act like spoiled little shits you twats.

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